After Dan died I kept busy, working on his website and legacy from our home in Maine and returning to the ranch in Colorado when needed. The remoteness of both places was good, both for work and dealing with my grief. In 2015 the ranch finally sold and I lived full-time in Maine. I have wonderful friends there, and they filled our home with good juju and got me out and about from time to time, but I knew this wasn’t where I wanted to spend my silver years.
My mother died in 2017, my father in 2018, and time seemed more fleeting and fragile than ever. Then the pandemic hit and the isolation of the island started pressing in on me. I began to think seriously about where I wanted to retire. I had originally planned to return to Santa Fe, but during a trip there I found myself continually bumping into bittersweet memories of Dan. I knew nothing could ever compare to those heady days of our courtship and wedding.
I seriously considered moving to Shropshire, in the lush green hills of England, one of my favorite places on earth. Perhaps the warms waters of Florida, or Hawaii, where my mother and grandmother were born? But no place was tugging at me hard enough to make me leave the house we had built on the Reach, and so I stayed. I was still mulling all of this over last September, when I returned to Lompoc, California for my 50th high school reunion.
I hadn’t even considered California. But while dancing with the kids (now adults) that I’d grown up with, I felt a sense of familiarity and belonging. I spent the next two weeks revisiting the places where I’d progressed from a child to a woman. Santa Maria - where I left college and my job at Denny’s to perform in bands five nights a week in San Luis Obispo, Shell Beach, Pismo Beach, and Grover City. Solvang - where I ended up ten years later, performing solo and getting my first paintings into art galleries. Marriage, divorce, marriage, so much history! And it was more beautiful than I’d remembered, or maybe I was old enough now to appreciate it.
Usually, after a trip, I’d return to our home in Maine and thoughts of living elsewhere would fade. This time, though, I walked in the door and realized I was already gone. After three weeks of looking online, I found the right house. It was older, and would need some work, but it had everything I needed. Twelve hectic weeks later, amid snow flurries, I quickly loaded the kitties into the car and drove west, just ahead of the first storm of the season.
Growing up in the mid-west, Dan would watch “Where the Action Is” and dream of someday meeting a California girl. I was lucky enough to be that girl, and I know he would be happy to see the woman I’ve become, back where I began, painting, playing music with new friends, and dancing with old friends among the vineyards and palm trees.
Dan was the only musician I ever wrote a fan letter to as a teen. I first discovered his music in 1974 at age 14, and even now at age 64, as I type this, I'm playing and singing along to SOUVENIRS. To read that you are doing well, finding a new home, reconnecting, it encourages me, a widow myself after my husband died at age 62 (early Alzheimer's). I've been like a hermit, not wanting to socialize, rarely leaving home. He was my soulmate for 40 years and I still tell him I love him every day and I stll cry every day almost 2 years later. But I keep thinking: what would my sweet heart want for m…
Dear Jean,
As so many of Dan’s, now YOUR, fans have commented, his art and story you so deeply and eloquently shared, transcended an appreciation for his story telling and beautiful music. You have kept Dan alive and lifted him up in such a selfless way—the strength and endurance to do so is something I can’t even begin to imagine. Your doing so, here in Maine, made me feel like he was still gunk holing or close hauling in the bays in which I sail—knowing you are moving on from Maine is bittersweet—bitter in his departure via yours is so finite, and sweet because you have a wonderfully, well-deserved next chapter ahead.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart…
Love this so very much. Shelly Ann
God bless you Jean, woman of wisdom, courage, resilience, strength and oh what a bright spirit you are! So happy for you in your new life- wishing you glorious adventures! I’m in Carpinteria and i hope someday we shall meet on the sunny shores of California. Blessings beautiful lady! Matisun
I love your story Jean. I always connected with Dan and wanted to marry him as did just about every woman. I recently relocated to the central coast (Arroyo Grande) from San Diego. I would love to find you at a venue somewhere up here and here your wonderful stories - both with and without Dan. I felt connected to his soul. and I am also going through the same thing with my boyfriend - advanced prostate cancer - he never got checked . Sad thing is that he was a doctor. .............Thanks for sharing your life with all of Dan's fans but you are one special lady to have captured his heart. A short time with someone yo…